It was approximately 6:30am and I was aware I was hugging my three year old daughter tightly to me in our sleep as I usually do. There appeared to be a little bit of sunlight coming in through the blinds with a faint blue hue. I realize that a part of me has been worried to wake and see an orange hue again as it was three days ago.
On Wednesday of this week, there had been a red hue coming in through the blinds with very little light and it stayed dark and orange all day. We had to turn the lights on in our living room to be able to see what we were doing all day. There was something sad about it and I noticed I felt a twinge of embarrassment in my subconscious to have to explain to my daughter why the sun didn't come out that day.
"What have we done?" was my unconscious narrative.
"What will we do? was my conscious question. This morning when my daughter began to stir at 6:30 am, she said: "Mami, adonde esta el sol?"
And I realized she believed that because it was dark still, that today would be another day the sun wouldn't come out and I realized that I also had a slight belief also that the same could happen. "Please Mami. Please el sol? Please?" she asked as though I had the power to make the decision about that as I do most things involved in her world. And I realize as I type this that I do have a little decision.
I can vote for politicians that believe in policies that will benefit our environment and not the wealthy that benefit from wealth that harms our environment.
I can do what I can so that soon I can vote so that we can decide to give the land back to our Indigenous communities that know how to care for and steward their land and want to.
I can look for my voice here and encourage others to vote.
I can try to choose my attitude.
I can model for others the attitude and optimism I seek out as often as I can remember.
Good things are coming and it will be better than it was before. It is the patience for it that is difficult right now. Perhaps we can pamper ourselves while we wait with as many things we can do that make us feel good. Perhaps we can look at other prayers that have come true for us that evidence that change is possible.
Perhaps we can do something. Perhaps.
Perhaps we really are as strong as we believed we were when we decided to come into this world and do the things we thought we could. Perhaps.